oh oh, what are you waiting for?

So, I've been conducting an experiment. A hairy one. I decided yet again to grow a beard...well, as much of a beard as I can. I am also growing my hair out...well, as much hair as I have left. The lack of abundance I make up in length. Also, hairy legs. Not much of an experiment for most guys, but definitely an experiment for a "serious triathlete". This is not the first such experiment. They usually start during long weeks of field work when I NEVER shave, and rarely brush my hair. Hey, when you spend your days playing in the mud and trees and applying bug spray and sunscreen, there is no reason for these things.

These experiments also tend to lead to a lot of reflection/identity crises. Hey, if you never question what you're doing, how can you believe in it? I know that is a pathetic rip-off of a movie line, but it's not coming to mind...

I am finally recovered psychologically (well, more or less) from grad school (it only took a year), and definitely getting into my job again (see previous post). The problem is that I tend to be able to focus on one thing at a time (see also previous post). So, the last three weeks have been ridiculously packed with fieldwork/conferences/business development and there has been little training involved. Of course one of the biggest problems is that my company for the last two field trips is a 68-year-old that works circles around me. We leave the hotel at sunset, and return at dark. There is no enthusiasm left at that point (read no training). I have finally been forced into a REAL break from training and thinking about training and feeling let down when I skip a working and am not stressed to know that I'm not thinking about training. With junior staff I feel like I can say "oh, we'll start at 8 tomorrow" or "we'll keep it to a 9-hour day today." Well, Bob is not exactly "junior staff" and when there is work to get done, you get it done!

Anyway, here are the outcomes of my experiment:

• Conclusion Number 1: Beards are not aerodynamic--AT ALL. In fact, my beard has made me significantly slower. I'd say good for 30 sec/mile running, and 1 mph on the bike.
• Conclusion Number 2: Beards are heavy--REALLY HEAVY. In fact, it appears that mine weighs ~10 pounds.

Now that I have come to those revolutionary conclusions, it's time! I will keep the beard for now just to gain additional evidence to support the above conclusions. But it's time to get back into action. Sorry body, I hope you're ready for this. TriFest this month, an olympic tri that I will not be in shape for, and two months until Wildflower.

I know the me that is only focused on triathlon. He' s a high-strung PITA. I know the me that only thinks about work. He is fat and unhealthy and still a high-strung PITA. It is time to get my head on straight and find the new family-work-training balance. Lots of family time. Lots of restoration. Lots of sweat. Let's do this.

You'll never be what is in your heart.

If you know me, you know I don't believe that. If anything, I have been (justifiably) criticized for being shameless about wearing my heart on my sleeve. "Say what you need to say"? No problem. Keeping my mouth shut or thinking through things? A bit trickier. When I decided to move to Ajo for work after my undergrad, I think I decided in about an hour. Time to move back to Tucson, go broke, and pursue my MS? I think it took a day.

I think I can confidently say now that my post PhD burnout has subsided, and I am getting generally enthused about the work I do. When you combine my inability to apply a filter somewhere between my head and my mouth (I give all credit to my genes ;) ), the enthusiasm that comes with several years of study on riparian systems in the Southwest, and the amount of intensity that comes from training for four years as a triathlete, it can get a little ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong, my attention span is about a mm wide. However, my level of intensity for that mm is ridiculous--think the refraction of sunlight through a magnifying glass. It's funny, as a teenager, I was a baseball pitcher. I dreamed of baseball. I had a hard time falling asleep at night because I was visualizing--baseball. However, for some reason I could not chew gum and pitch (just ask my dad!).

So, anyway, this is how I am about my work. I get research ideas thrown to me, and I stop and start sketching experimental layouts. This happened at the last conference I went to, and I hesitated to show my enthusiasm to potential clients. Don't know why; lack of confidence I suppose. As a scientist/engineer, I don't want to scare people away. Hmmm... Anyway, I was talking to my parents about this last week. I told my dad, "yeah, lots of interesting stuff potentially in the future, but I don't want to get too excited." My dad's immediate response was, "get excited!" I was thrown off a bit, because in general I don't know if my parents really understand what it is that I do. However, I know that my dad knows my enthusiasm, and he was simply reminding me to think like a kid again--shamelessly wear your heart on your sleeve be confident in your KSAs (if you've applied for a federal job you know what I'm talking about). Don't hesitate to be enthusiastic about what you want to do. Share your ideas. I have been working toward this career path for nearly 12 years. Go after it and GET EXCITED. New resolution for the rest of 2011. Get after it, and make it happen. Script your own future, and pave your own path to success. It's go-time.