Thursday, September 3, 2009

I'm fine and dandy with the me inside

So on the verge of a PhD (aka piled-head-deep, aka I-better-figure-out-what-the-heck-to-do-with-myself) it has dawned on me that I had better figure out what the heck to do with myself. On some fronts things are set. For a grad student, I actually have a lot going on outside of school. Married, two beautiful baby girls, and a "real job", whereas it seems most PhDs wait until they're 3o+ to start any life outside of academia. Absolutely nothing wrong with that path, and in some ways I'm envious I guess...it was just not for me. Anyway, I have a job with potential to become a Principal and open my own office; or I could try to teach; or I could put it all on the line and start my own company.

A big part of me thinks a major problem with our generation is that we have too many options and opportunities. My parents were happy to have each other, a family, an a job that would support us. Yet we get to wonder "what else?". I have started to realize that "the grass is always greener" definitely is the case, and these days we can see the other side all too well. The point of all this babble is the following: I came from a down-to-Earth family; I grew up fishing, catching frogs, getting sunburned, and enjoying the rural Arizona/California "niceties". A big question now is, can I find myself, my place, and my career while remaining myself? In other words can I find out where I should go without forgetting where I've been? I hope the answer is yes, but who is to judge? I guess my goal is to be happy, do something "important", and hold onto my roots. Judgment is on me. I might or might not share my opinion... :)

At this point I am in the position to do some great work where my heart is and where I grew up, but it's time to explore. When I find myself wishing for red lights on the way to work, something is wrong. Time to fix it. Adios for now.

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